3. Reflections on the Region - beta Paradox, Part 1

The last few months have been an interesting few for me personally and I think I wouldn't be far off in saying that many people have been feeling the same way about life and the world in a similar way as I have. The worldwide lockdowns are almost 3 years into the past, and life has almost seemingly gone back to how life was pre - lockdown era. The difference is however that  many of us were forced to adjust in a big way to the stressors that the lockdowns brought and we are now in many ways at the whim of the decisions that we made during the lockdown. Many people were forced to change vocations, adjust goals in regards to career and interpersonal relationships. Many people found the challenge of having to isolate and introspect daunting and the lockdown meant that they couldn't escape their inner demons and facing them was a scary thought. In many ways the lockdown was a perfect catalyst to change, because things became so untenable in many ways that change was mandatory. 

The challenges we face on a daily basis are in many ways the challenges we choose. We often like to think that we can avoid having to face certain obstacles, but in many ways in trying to avoid a challenge we are passively making the choice to have to face it, on it's terms. This fact is actually quite counter intuitive, since it's implied that by choosing your suffering you can proactively choose how you'd like to tackle your problems and also the manner in which you do it. It's almost as if  by accepting suffering you give yourself license to make the suffering less and as such you give yourself a measurable advantage in dealing with the problem. During the lockdown we were faced with having to confront our problems through a uniform worldwide pressure, that pushed individuals beyond their comfort zones and in such a way encouraged people to have to face their personal problems that were glaring at them further down the path. In many ways this was a blessing in disguise, since the Region - beta Paradox is what leads to much suffering when we are caught between a no - man's land of having to make life changing, scary (or so we think) decisions in pursuit of dreams and falling into obscurity by being a "loser." What this creates is almost a paralysis of action: leading to taking the safest possible route in all of life's decisions. Sticking with the shitty 9 - 5, having a micro managing boss, being a number in a corporation that doesn't value individuality, creativity or self expression. Many of us take the safe route because at the very heart of it, despite making us feel unfulfilled, it isn't quite unpleasant enough to make us want to change. In many ways it would actually be a blessing if that shitty boss was far more of a nightmare, because that may actually push you to have to find a new job, a new way to make a living in pursuing a different path to fulfilment. The lockdown provided the pressure for many people to have to chart a new course, because it became so unpleasant that the acute stress being so apparent lit a fire under many of our asses to have to change. Unfortunately this life isn't uniform and is ever changing and the decisions we made lead us right  back to where we were at the time of our comfortable, soul destroying jobs albeit bill paying sacrifice, the fire died in us and we fell right back into the Region - beta Paradox. We fell back into the cycle of doing enough to survive, but not enough to thrive. We lost sight of what made us want to change in the first place, and that's fine. There are plateaus and lulls in the sea of life, as long as we are able to spur ourselves on again, upon the realisation that we've let ourselves "go" so to speak.

One of the things that can help us on is that this "safe zone" is where dreams can go to die and that in order to transcend the region beta paradox we need to begin asking ourselves the right questions again.

Who am I living my life for?

What fulfils me?

Is what I'm doing in line with my highest aspirations as a human being?

Am I where I am right now, because I'm scared of changing things around due to the fact that there is  no safety net?

Would I change things if the situation was worse?

Make your life a little bit more uncomfortable by taking a chance on yourself and moving to make things such that when you pull the trigger and really commit to the change that you've made, that you've put in the homework to be your own safety net. Come to grips with the suffering you've chosen, understand that it's supposed to be hard and that change is inherently uncomfortable at first. You don't need to always know where you are, as long as you have an idea of where you're going. Embrace the fact that not everyone in your circle will understand initially why you're changing things around, but rest well knowing that if they decide to leave you, you've lost nothing and only gained an insight into the people who are able to see your vision for yourself, who chose to stay and support your transformational journey. You aren't living your life for other people, you're living to make yourself a fulfilled and contented human being who can enrich those around you, through your own self mastery.

As important as the above is, if you feel like you don't mind being where you are now, in the safe zone - with no crazy aspirations for the future, then that's fine too. Dreams and aspirations don't need to be in line with the Instagram dream of owning a huge house and driving a Ferrari, but then live according to where you are in gratitude, because a life of work, no matter what is it, is an honourable one. If your bills are being paid, you have a wonderful family and surround yourself with wholesome activities and people, then don't put pressure on yourself to have to chase the sun, you are enriching the world just as you are. There are more than one way to grow as a person.